The NHL, MLB, and the NFL have agreed to stop their respective sports until further notice to accommodate professional athletes who find themselves suddenly interested in another sport. “It happened so fast,” said NHL player Sidney Crosby. “I was just watching the Super Bowl when I got hit with this urge to play tennis.”
All professional sports organizations have reported similar stories of compulsion and unspeakable desire. Some GOATs, such as LeBron James, have tried to fight against their inexplicable cravings to play water polo during the NBA playoffs. “It was like a force beyond my control,” claimed LeBron. “I couldn’t help myself. I know it sounds crazy.”
The three leagues have come together in a rare unison to support their players in this massive cross-sport event. The NBA has been excluded from the event.
“Baseball is my new passion,” explained Kenyan Drake of the Las Vegas Raiders. “My swing is pretty sweet, but I’m still learning how to pitch.” For most players, it was love at first sight. While playing an amateur soccer game in their hometowns, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, Tom Brady, and Peyton Manning all felt a sudden calling towards badminton.
“I felt so alive,” said Peyton Manning, who later won the badminton world championship in his first tournament. “Every time I hit one of those shuttlecocks, it just feels so…right.”
The sudden change has caused several coaching changes across all sports. After being traded from the Atlanta Falcons to the New York Jets due to a family tragedy, former star quarterback Tim Tebow worked out with MLB team the Baltimore Orioles.
In addition, several coaches have either had to switch sports completely or assume more than one role as they can not only coach multiple sports but play them too. Head coach Nick Sirianni of the Philadelphia Eagles is currently serving as our nation’s Secretary Of Defense and starting shortstop for the Detroit Tigers.